what i knew those moons ago

tulips wilted,

oh i wish i knew

what i knew

all those moons ago

when my will

evaporated like dew

inflicted pain

too soon.

dreams whittled

by tunes

but i let you choose

for me.

for me

the flowers bloom

and the grass curls

around my ankles.

misfortune so large,

but so few;

so privileged,

favor misconstrued.

i am used

and i am used to few.

i am used

to solitude;

the lighthouse

that beckons the shore,

weather morose,

thunderstorms hoarding

fury and force.

violent waves

and a single beacon

to lead the way.

the sky will clear,

of course.

the sun will rise near,

be sure.

and in wake of the storm

seashells will line the coast,

upturned

from the ocean’s throat.

i don’t know what was.

the past is like smoke;

hazy, distant, choking,

rippling in the light,

dancing in the shadows.

i hold it close

yet i hold it no more.

i chose

what i chose.

my ankles do not sink

but float.

the tide resides

but it returns;

my body only ever

what it wrote.